The chemistry session occupies a unique position in the coaching process. It is simultaneously a sales conversation, an assessment of fit, a demonstration of coaching skill, and the beginning of a relationship. For many coaches, it is the single most important moment in their business development process. For clients, it is often their first real experience of what coaching feels like. The stakes are high on both sides, and yet the best chemistry sessions feel effortless, natural, and genuinely useful.
Understanding the Purpose
The primary purpose of a chemistry session is mutual assessment. The client needs to determine whether they feel comfortable with the coach, whether they trust them, and whether they believe this person can help them. The coach needs to assess whether they can work effectively with this client, whether the presenting issues fall within their competence, and whether there is genuine potential for a productive working relationship.
What makes this assessment complex is that it happens largely below the surface. Research by Erik de Haan at Ashridge Business School has shown that clients make their decision about a coach primarily on the basis of personal connection rather than credentials or methodology. The client is asking themselves, often unconsciously: "Do I feel heard? Do I feel safe? Does this person seem to understand my world?" The coach who can create this experience in a thirty-minute conversation will almost always be chosen over the coach with the more impressive CV.
Creating Connection Without Performing
One of the most common mistakes coaches make in chemistry sessions is trying too hard. The desire to impress can lead to over-explaining methodology, name-dropping credentials, or attempting to demonstrate coaching skill through overly clever questions. Paradoxically, the best chemistry sessions happen when the coach focuses entirely on the client rather than on showcasing themselves.
Begin by being genuinely curious about the person in front of you. Ask about their current role, their challenges, and what prompted them to explore coaching. Listen with your full attention. Notice what energises them and what seems to weigh on them. Reflect back what you hear, not to demonstrate a technique but because it shows you are truly paying attention. The client should leave the chemistry session feeling that they have been deeply listened to, possibly for the first time in their professional life.
This does not mean you should avoid sharing anything about yourself. Clients have legitimate questions about your experience, your approach, and how coaching works. Answer these questions honestly and concisely. Share enough to build credibility without turning the conversation into a monologue about your qualifications. A brief example of a similar coaching engagement, anonymised and shared with permission, can be far more powerful than a list of certifications.
Navigating the Commercial Reality
Chemistry sessions exist in the tension between service and commerce. You are simultaneously trying to help someone and trying to win their business. Handling this tension with integrity is essential. Be transparent about your fees and how the engagement would be structured. If the client's needs fall outside your expertise, say so honestly and refer them to someone better suited. This kind of integrity, counterintuitively, often wins more business than it loses, because it signals trustworthiness.
When working with corporate sponsors, the chemistry session may involve a shortlist process where the client meets two or three coaches and chooses one. In these situations, focus on being authentically yourself rather than trying to guess what the client is looking for. Different clients need different things from a coach. The best outcome is not winning every chemistry session but being chosen by the clients with whom you are genuinely the best fit.
The Micro-Coaching Moment
The most effective chemistry sessions include a brief taste of what coaching actually feels like. This does not mean running a full coaching session in miniature. Rather, it means finding a natural moment in the conversation to go a little deeper, to ask a question that makes the client pause and think, to reflect something back in a way that creates a small moment of insight. This gives the client an experiential sense of what working with you would be like, which is far more compelling than any description.
The key is to follow the client's energy. If they mention a challenge that clearly matters to them, you might say: "I notice that seems particularly important to you. Would it be useful to explore that a little further right now?" This invitation respects the client's agency while demonstrating your skill. Even a five-minute exploration can be enough for the client to experience the value of coaching and to feel the beginning of the working alliance.
Closing with Clarity
End the chemistry session by summarising what you have heard, sharing your initial reflections on how coaching might help, and being clear about next steps. Avoid being pushy about scheduling. Instead, invite the client to take time to reflect on the conversation and to get in touch when they are ready. If they are meeting other coaches, acknowledge this openly and wish them well in making their choice. This confidence and generosity leaves a lasting positive impression, regardless of the outcome.